it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
