we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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