I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
