he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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