so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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