no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
