She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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