The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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