take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
