what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
