do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
