I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
