How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think your dad took our porno
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
