I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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