I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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