so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He better not be in your backpack
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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