I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
