the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
