He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
