he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize