what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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