oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I met the friendliest cop last night
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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