Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
