i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
