The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize