haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
