Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
