You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
