Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My dick has a subreddit
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
