We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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