You really coming over, don't trick.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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