I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize