What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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