I'm drive I can fine osifer
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
