I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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