its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
