I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
