The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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