well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
