I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
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I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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