No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
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