I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize
