Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
operation have a gay friend backfired
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
