is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
