dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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