OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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