11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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