my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize