i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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