the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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