it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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