Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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