i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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