so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
