Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
