Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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