Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
